Turning Liabilities into Assets

Watch the video
Starting a conversation about becoming invisible with age.
This video was originally shared on blip.tv by Jan of Sound with a No license (All rights reserved) license.


  1. Hi Jan,

    I really enjoyed your post, as it encouraged me to consider the ways in which I am visible (or invisible) and how my visibility changes with age. I was inspired to create a response post ( http://www.katstate.com:9400/blog/?p=29 ), but it came out with a more serious tone than I originally intended. :)


  2. Anonymous7:57 PM


    Thank you for the courageous way in which you opened this interesting conversation.

    I am also struggling with this perception that I am becoming increasingly invisible as I age. What's key for me in this puzzle is the awareness that what rankles me most is becoming invisible to men (an embarrassing confession).

    I like the idea of trying to make this an asset instead of a liability, but I'm still trying to escape my own preconceived notions of what it means to be an older woman. I'm hoping the answer lies in how I live, the ways in which I embrace my sexual self, and in the ways I express my various passions.

    If am truly am becoming more invisible as I age, then I guess I can quit asking my daughter if I'm too old to wear x,y,z, and just go ahead dress as outrageously as I want.

    If I truly am less visible then perhaps I can accomplish more and make more of an impact by being implicitly subversive ("hey, where'd she come from and what does she think she's doing?").

    From my perspective, your video post reveals a courageous woman, giving voice to feelings not usually confessed, challenging the notion of what it means to be an older woman in our Western culture. If more of us start asking this question and refuse to accept what popular culture tells us, being a "seasoned woman" (Gail Sheehy's new book) may become an enviable circumstance.


  3. If the baby boomers don't do it - we with power in numbers anyway - who will? Shall we leave that work to our daughters? I say not!

    Just checking Karen's video response now.

    This small conversation makes me feel much better already.

  4. The gifts of change and challenge, often painful, but as someone once said, "No pain, no gain."

    One thing I notice is that when a baby is in the room, all eyes are fully and unabashedly on it. Is it downhill from there? 'Downhill' is entirely the wrong word. The graph just shifts with age.

    Do we then value the gaze less as we age?

    How do we deal with this invisibility? Into mid-life outrageousness, then a krone's plainness? How? How to make lemonade?

    I feel better, too.

  5. oh man, jan, you're speaking my language with this video.

    this past year, i turned forty, my daughter turned twenty, and i am dating a younger man (which doesn't make you feel young at all. it makes you feel old). this video hits me in the gut.

    those of you who have passed forty may laugh...but it's the oldest i've ever been.

    i do feel that i become increasingly invisible...as object of desire (isn't that what we're really talking about here?) as i age. as anonymous says, it's an embarrassing confession.

    and here we are, making video. and what does that say?

    i'm sorry. i have no inspirational thoughts. only questions. only empathy.